The Residue of Her Betrayal

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The Residue of Her Betrayal

Post by Cassie on Wed 02 Aug 2017, 14:19


http://doggettscully.com/fanfic/txt/residueofherbetrayal.txt


The Residue of Her Betrayal

Author: Dana Doggett

Date: 11 August 2003, finalized on 1 August 2017

Rating: PG-13

Category: ScullyAngst, implied Doggett/Scully, implied Follmer/Reyes, Doggett MIA,
Reyes MIA, Follmer/Scully

Timeline: I'm pretending that the events that happened in "Release" are non-existent and
that "The Truth" never happened. In this story, Mulder is still assigned to the X-Files and
is not on the run from those silly Super Soldiers.

Archiving: Semper Fi (doggettscully.com)

Feedback: doggettscully@gmail.com

Beta: Not used.

Disclaimer: Dana Scully, Brad Follmer, Fox Mulder, Walter Skinner, Maggie Scully,
Charles Scully, John Doggett, and Monica Reyes are not my original characters. They
were created by Chris Carter and belong to 1013 Productions and 20th Century Fox. My
use of them in this story does not benefit me whatsoever. Excerpt from Margaret
Mitchell's "Gone With The Wind" obviously belongs to Margaret Mitchell.

Summary: "John Doggett was an extension of her soul. She was lost without him."

Author's Note: I originally intended this story to be part of a much larger story, however I
never got around to finishing the following parts. I held onto this story for over a decade
in the hope to finish it. But in 2017 I finally decided that I would fit in an ending that
covers what I intended to do, and finally get this story up online. I hope you enjoy it,
even though I no longer have a beta reader.

----------

Soft piano music quietly floats from room to room throughout John Doggett's house,
Rachmaninov's Piano Concerto No. 2. The room of origin is the master bathroom. Dana
Scully is relaxing in an aromatherapy lavender bubble bath, a wet face towel rests on her
eyes, her arms relaxing at her side.

Scully had quite an interesting day at work reorganizing hers and Mulder's filing cabinets
after Mulder accidentally tipped it over causing quite a mess, trying to retrieve a case file
that had fallen behind it. Since Agents Doggett and Reyes are out of town on a case since
this morning, Scully had no other option than to help Mulder pick up his mess. It hadn't
been the worst time she's had in the office, actually it was quite fun.

She and Mulder had reflected back on handfuls of bizarre cases that they had investigated
over the years. They certainly shared a good amount of laughter, especially when a
certain case that took place in the Norwegian Sea came up. They had a good laugh how
they had grown old together and had no proof that it had happened.

Scully's hands start moving to the soft music playing, "conducting" it. She smiles to
herself thinking how nice it is to be alone. If John were there he'd either be in the bathtub
with her, or at the sink brushing his teeth, trying hard not to laugh at her – how did he put
it – "conductor tendencies", when all she wants is peace and quiet, and a little relaxation.

Of course there's always the downside to not having John around, it would be harder for
her to fall asleep without him by her side. Over the past year that they have been living
together, she had gotten used to always having him at her side at night.

Thinking she hears the phone ringing downstairs, Scully removes the face towel from her
eyes and looks at the clock hanging on the wall in the bathroom, nine o'clock. She looks
at the cordless phone next to the bathtub and picks it up, wondering if the batteries had
died again. John never did seem to remember to put the phone back on the charger. She
turns it on and holds it to her ear.

"Hello?"

The dial tone is the only reply. Scully turns the phone off, a concerned look on her face.

John told her before he left with Monica for Texas that he'd call her every night at seven
o'clock. The first night he was right on time and had told her a little about the case he and
Monica were investigating. Some deal was going on between drug traffickers and border
patrol officers at the Mexico/ U.S. border, not exactly an X-File case, but a good case
nonetheless.

It's a good thing Monica is with him. Scully smiles to herself thinking about how John
thinks his Spanish is good, but it really isn't all that top-notch. "Te quiero," he had told
her before he hung up.

Sometimes she thought that was all he knew how to say in the language, te quiero, I love
you.

Last night was strange, she answered the phone and it was silent at first, maybe a bad
connection. When John finally spoke to her all he said was that he was busy but wanted
to call and let her know that he loves her very much and that he would be calling at the
same time the next day. He hung up on her before she had the chance to ask any
questions. This bothered her, but knowing John Doggett if he was busy on a case, he was
busy on a case. There was no clocking out until he got the job done. Scully glances at the
clock again, it's fifteen past the hour, still she's heard nothing from him.

It is quite possible that he had made an arrest tonight, and as arresting officer he would
have to be doing all the paperwork associated with the arrest, and that could take hours.

Yes, that's what happened, she assures herself.

Realizing the bath water is cooling, Scully grabs a towel and gets out and puts on her
bathrobe. She shuffles into the bedroom and lies down on the bed and grabs the book she
is reading, "Gone With The Wind," opens it and reads: "She looked up into his eyes with
one swift imploring glance and in it she put an agony of heartbreak. 'Oh, Rhett, I'd die if
they hanged you! I couldn't bear it! You see, I--' And because she could not longer
sustain the hot leaping light that was in his eyes, her lids fluttered down again."

Scully looks up from her book. The room is uncharacteristically silent, it's made her feel
uneasy. She glances down at John's side of the bed, missing him. She turns her attention
back to her book.

And after an hour or so, Scully falls asleep. The book falling from her hand onto the floor
below.

----------

Four o'clock in the morning. Mulder hated to be the one to come here at this hour and to
be the deliverer of bad news. He quickly walks up to John and Dana's front door. He
knocks first, then rings the bell.

What would he say to her, or would his expression alone be enough to let her know that
something terrible has happened? He knocks again and sees light from the stairwell turn
on as Scully slowly makes her way down the stairs.

She opens the front door cautiously. She's sleepy and her hair is a mess. She looks at
Mulder through squinted eyes.

"Mulder? Do you have any idea what time it is?" she yawns.

"Scully, I…" his voice is uneven. He stops speaking, not knowing how to say this.

Scully opens the door wider and steps to the side to let Mulder in. She shuts the door
behind them.

"Mulder, are you ok?"

"Sit down, Scully."

She raises an eyebrow, wondering why Mulder is beating around the bush. She takes a
seat on the couch and looks up at Mulder. He is upset, something is wrong.

"Mulder, please. What's on your mind?" She's worried now.

"Agents Reyes and Doggett are missing..." he hesitates a beat, sitting down next to her,
"and... assumed dead."

Mulder looks into the depth of her eyes and watches as her heart and soul shatter, and
then as she quickly builds up a wall around her for protection. She swallows hard, not
wanting to show her heartache to him, but Mulder knows how much she's come to love
John Doggett. He used to worry that Scully's experiences on the X-Files had hardened her
heart so much that she was left incapable of falling in love.

[ he used to hope that she would fall in love with him ]

He was wrong.

Scully takes in a deep breath, "What happened?" She remains calm under the
circumstances, and is in complete control of her emotions. Even the tears welling up in
Mulder's eyes are not enough to break her.

Mulder tries to compose himself and answer her question. Though he wasn't close to
Agents Doggett and Reyes, he knew what they meant to Scully, and it hurt him to know
how much she must be hurting, and that she will not allow herself to find comfort in him.

[ they had known each other for so many years, why is she still pushing him away? ]

"There was a um… there was a shootout at the border." He explains. "Agents Doggett
and Reyes were caught in the crossfire."

Mulder bites his lower lip. Shit. Why did he have to depersonalize them by referring to
John and Monica as "agents?" Scully certainly did not need that right now, especially
when her relationship with John was so personal. Doggett had become her best friend,
and her lover.

Mulder hadn't seen Scully this happy since the beginning of their relationship a few years
ago when they had hit baseballs together, his arms wrapped around her, she smiled and
laughed. If only it were that easy to be with her now. Mulder looks down at his hands.

[ he should offer her comfort: hug her, hold her, do something other than just sit here ]

"You said they are assumed dead." She stands up, "They aren't sure?"

"One witness, a federal agent, says he saw their dead bodies, but so far they haven't been
found."

Scully nods her head and starts up the stairs.

"If they are assumed dead, then we can assume they're still alive. I'm going to pack my
bags, and then you and I are going to go out to Texas and investigate this, all right?" She
says, trying to remain optimistic.

"Dana…", he pauses and stands up, "Nine people were killed in the shootout, all of which
have been identified this side of the border. Our guys haven't been able to contact John
and Monica, and we haven't been contacted by them. Skinner spoke with the SAC in San
Antonio and he believes, based on reports that have been coming in, that John and
Monica were across the border in Mexico when shooting broke out. The Mexican police
may have found their bodies. It's only a matter of time before we get confirmation." He
pauses again. "You know that John would do everything in his power to let you know
that he's fine and that something went down. Have you heard from him recently?"

Scully stops on the stairs, wondering about the phone call she received last night, hours
after John said he would call. Was this before or after the shootout? If it was before, the
call might have been from John, if it was after... if it was after it doesn't matter.

Mulder looks up to Scully, her right hand is tightly gripping the railing, every muscle in
her body tense. A soft cry escapes from her mouth. Mulder takes a step up the stairs
towards her, and places his hand on her back. Scully covers her face with her hand and
breaks down crying. Slowly she lowers herself to her knees on the stairs. Mulder takes
her into his arms and comforts her, he gently kisses the top of her head, wishing that he
could protect her from the pain.

----------

The month following the deaths of John and Monica were especially hard on Scully. The
first week the field office in San Antonio had confirmed their deaths and had sent the
bodies back up to D.C. for proper burial.

The funerals were closed casket. They had been told by the proper authorities that their
bodies were in no condition to be seen by friends and family. Scully was even denied
access to conduct her own autopsy, and was also denied identifying the bodies. She had
begged Skinner to pull strings for her, but he only touched her should her and told her to
leave the matter alone. To let them rest in peace.

Despite all the tears shed around her at John's funeral, Scully remained dry-eyed. Saving
her tears for the comfort and privacy of her own home… hers and John's home. She felt
physically sick without him and spent the next couple of days at home from work, most
of which her time was spent on her knees in the bathroom, hugging the toilet. She refused
to answer the phone and only let Mulder in once when he brought her a meal from John's
favorite polish sausage stand down on M Street. Even that didn't stay in her long and she
rushed to the bathroom and threw it all up. Mulder made her go see a doctor, he was
worried that she hadn't been taking care of herself.

Worried for her daughter, Maggie Scully asked her youngest son, Charles, to stay with
Dana for awhile until he felt she would be all right on her own. That lasted only a couple
days. Scully didn't mind the company of her brother (at least it wasn't Bill!), but all she
wanted was to be alone. He left soon after she yelled at him for wanting to wash her bed
sheets. Her reason… she didn't want to wash away John's scent, she found comfort in it.
She felt closer to him at night when she slept, hugging his pillow close to her as if it were
John himself.

Scully knew that she wasn't moving on, or "getting over it." She didn't care. John Doggett
was an extension of her soul. She was lost without him. She stayed up hours at night
staring at his side of the bed, wishing that with every blink of her eye that he'd be there
and tell her that all this had been a bad dream. It never happened and would never
happen. Scully damned herself for being so foolish and would cry herself to sleep.

----------

Today marks three months since his passing. Scully arrives at work like any other day.
Passing agents in the hallway, most were completely unaware of the hell she is going
through. Unlike most days she comes face-to-face with Brad Follmer in the elevator on
her way down to hers and Mulder's office.

Brad Follmer. Monica Reyes's friend and lover. Scully hadn't seen him since Monica's
funeral. She's been avoiding him ever since.

"Agent Scully." He speaks to her cordially, but she can tell that he's also been avoiding
her.

Scully steps into the elevator and nods to acknowledge him, "Assistant Director."

The elevator doors close and they head down to the basement.

"On your way to the basement, Assistant Director?" Scully feels awkward in his
presence, she had befriended him through Monica and had purposely shut him out of her
life because she didn't want to be reminded of anything having to do with John or
Monica.

"Actually, I was coming to see you."

Scully looks at Brad, this is unexpected.

"Me? What for?" She quickly puts up her defense, and raises an eyebrow.

"To see how you're doing. I've been worried about you, you know. I heard you've been
giving yourself one hell of a time dealing with... this."

"As you can see, I'm fine."

"Are you?"

Scully flashes him a warning glare, she does not want to talk about their loss. She looks
away from him when her glare does not deter his concern. The door to the elevator opens
and she quickly steps out.

He speaks softly to her, "Dana, listen…" he reaches out and touches her arm, she flinches
not wanting or needing his comfort.

"I said I'm fine." She is stern.

"I was hoping that you and I could visit Monica and John today. Together. I need to be
with someone who knew Mon' well… I need to talk about her, about John, about their
lives." He is choking up.

Scully looks to him with a cold stare, she retains this expression despite the ache in her
heart when she sees a tear run down his face. She understands what he is saying, she's
sure that others treat him the same way that they treat her. Always asking how things are
when they know very well what happened. Always being told "I'm so sorry for your
loss," or "time will heal the pain," or "grief doesn't last forever," or worse "aren't you over
it yet?" Their words do nothing but drudge up painful emotions, reopen the scars of loss.

Brad watches Scully for a moment and decides that maybe this wasn't the best idea after
all.

"I'm sorry, Agent Scully. Forget I said anything."

He turns and heads back to the elevator, Scully hesitates and then follows him. If there is
anyone here who understands what she's going through, it's Brad Follmer.

"Brad, wait…"

He turns to face her and raises his eyebrows, wondering what she'll say to him in
response to what he had asked.

"What time do you plan on going?" She lowers her gaze, feeling bad for giving him the
cold shoulder.

"Around six, after work. Monica always liked to watch the sunset." He smiles briefly
before sadness washes over his face.

"So did John…" Her voice trails off, saddened.

"How about I pick you up around a quarter to six?"

She nods her head, "Sure."

She walks away and enters hers and Mulder's office.

Mulder is sitting at his desk, he looks up from a book and smiles at Scully as she walks in
and sits down in the chair in front of him.

"So Frohike and I were wondering if you'd like to accompany us to the cinema this
evening. They're playing one of your favorites, Casablanca." He grins.

"I can't. I umm... actually, I made other plans."

"Oh?" Mulder pouts, bummed that she's busy.

"Yeah, uh, Brad Follmer asked me if I'd like to go visit John and Monica this evening."

"Oh." Mulder is surprised and perhaps a bit suspicious. "I've never noticed that you two
were particularly close. I always though he was more of an acquaintance to you."

"I think that he thinks we can help each other through this."

"Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, the man doesn't necessarily have the most
squeaky clean reputations around the Bureau."

Scully raises an eyebrow, "Oh? And you do?" She is amused.

"I'm just saying you should be careful."

"Mulder, A.D. Follmer isn't a bad guy. He's well-respected among his colleagues and he
was a very close friend of Monica."

"I don't know, Scully. It's been what? Three months since they passed and now he's
seeking you out for comfort." Mulder sounds angry, but trying not to show it. It hurts him
that she shut him out, but now seems open to accepting comfort from A.D. Follmer.

"You of all people should know that it takes a long time to get over the death of a loved
one. Even then, sometimes it can be damn near impossible."

Mulder stands up, having enough of this disagreement. He grabs a file folder and heads to
the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Got a few things I want to run by Danny up in forensics."

With that, Mulder is out the door. Scully sighs, he can be such a jerk sometimes.

----------

Scully left work earlier than usual. Since she hadn't actually been to John's grave since
his funeral, she wanted to make sure she wore something nice. After trying on a dress he
bought her a few months back, she decided to wear it. She is happy that it still fits,
considering...

John had only seen it on her once, he loved the way that it fit snuggly on her body. It is a
simple black dress, spaghetti-straps, and shows off every one of her features well. Scully
stands looking at herself in a mirror. She runs her hands over the dress to smoothen it out,
she breathes deep. Sure enough she can still smell the cologne he wore when he had
taken her in his arms and told her how beautiful she looked in the dress, and how he
wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

Tears sting her eyes as she remembers him lowering to one knee and taking her hands
into his as he asked her to marry him.

Quickly, Scully wipes a tear away as it falls down her cheek. She walks over to her
dresser and opens the top drawer and takes out a small black velvet ring box and opens it.
Inside lies a beautifully simplistic diamond engagement ring. She always took it off
before showering or bathing and the night Mulder came to tell her the bad news, she had
forgotten to put it back on.

She can't bring herself to wear it now. It brought back too many hopes and dreams, for
her future with John, that had been shattered that night. She takes the ring and for the first
time in three months, she places it back on her finger.

Her mind reflects back, she and John had been engaged for only a short time and hadn't
told any friends or family. He said he wanted it to be "their little secret" for a little while,
and they lived it up, sharing many significant looks with one another in the presence
of friends. No one had noticed and no one had suspected that they had begun planning a
November wedding.

A knock at the door downstairs pulls her from her thoughts. Keeping the engagement ring
on, she makes her way down the stairs, and grabs her coat and steps outside to greet Brad.
He's still in the clothes he wore to work that day. He seems a little surprised by the
formality of her clothing, but says nothing about it. They walk to his car and get in.

They drive in silence for a few minutes, not looking at one another. Brad coughs,
breaking the silence.

"Thank you for coming with me, Dana. It means a lot."

"You're welcome."

"I'm sure John would say you look very beautiful in that dress." He looks at her, "Is it
new?"

"I've had it for awhile, this is the second time I've worn it."

More silence.

Brad gets off the highway and continues down a few more roads and takes a right into the
cemetery. Since it's now autumn, early October, the trees are bare of their leaves. The
look of the place sends a chill down Scully's spine.

Brad stops his car, he looks at Scully. She's making no motion to move. She seems
paralyzed. He reaches out and touches her on the shoulder. This startles her and she looks
at him, on the verge of crying. She closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath to compose
herself. This is a lot harder than she imagined it would be.

"Dana?"

"I'm fine."

"I thought we'd visit Mon' first, ok?"

Scully nods her head and then quickly steps out of the car. She walks with him to
Monica's tombstone. She glances back behind her shoulder toward the direction where
John is buried. Her heart races, and she feels a knot twisting up inside her gut. She takes a
deep breath to compose herself, holding her hand over her abdomen.

Brad watches her and realizes that she may not have been out here previously. He slowly
walks to her and stands by her side, he doesn't know what to say.

A crow caws in the distance, and then... silence.

Scully takes in a short breath and speaks to him seriously, "I've lost my father and my
sister. My father had his ashes put out to sea. My sister is buried in this cemetery." She
sighs, "Whenever I visit the ocean, I sense my father near me. The sound of the waves
soothe me, as my father's voice once did. I guess that's why I love the ocean… it brings
me closer to him, I feel him."

"What of your sister?"

"It's weird, but after she passed, I used to sense her lack of approval of my life, you
know, back before I knew John, and when I thought Mulder and the X-Files were all life
was worth living for." She pauses. "I came here once with John…to visit her..."

"What did you feel then?"

"Peace… acceptance… happiness." She gives him a smile. "It was the first time I was
able to come here and not feel guilty about her death. Instead I was able to recall so many
good times I had with her. I think John was able to bring that out of me. I'm thankful for
that." She smiles through tears in her eyes.

They stand still in silence. Brad shuts his eyes and keeps his thoughts of Monica to
himself, speaking to her inside his head. A couple minutes later he looks at Scully.

"Ready to visit John now?"

Scully stiffens, "Didn't you want to uh... talk to Monica?"

"I have."

"Oh."

They walk together towards John's location, Brad feels like he should hold her hand, but
he doesn't. Scully is walking so slowly, as if she doesn't want to be here.

"Dana? Is this your first time back here since the funeral?" He speaks to her gently, not
wanting to upset her.

She nods her head and looks down at the ground, feeling guilt. She knows it is expected
of her to grieve for John, and visit his grave, but she has not.

"If you want to be alone, I can wait for you in the car."

"Thank you." She appreciates his understanding that she wants to visit John alone.

She continues walking, and Brad turns around and heads back to his car.

Scully reaches John's tombstone and stands, staring at it. in disbelief. She rests one hand
on her abdomen, wanting to tell him... but unable to accept that he'll never be coming
back. She closes her eyes, trying to feel his soul. Her face tenses as she tries to hold back
tears. Why can't she feel him? She whispers his name as tears unwillingly stream down
her face. She looks up at the sky above and whispers "God damn you."

She turns around and walks away.

----------

Brad dropped Scully off at hers and John's home in Falls Church, and is heading back to
his apartment in D.C. Scully hadn't said a word to him once she got back in his car at the
cemetery, and this bothered him. She could easily talk of her father and sister, but when it
came to John she shut down.

Something was wrong and he felt the need to help her. He stops his car in the middle of
the empty two-way road. He takes a breath and hesitates. Should he turn back and talk to
her, make her get everything she's holding in out of her system, or let her destroy herself
in loneliness?

The answer is obvious.

Brad does a U-turn and heads back to her house.

He pulls up into the driveway and sees that all the lights in the house are off. She couldn't
have gone to bed, it was only going on eight o'clock. He knocks on the door. A moment
later Scully answers it, her face tear-stained. She looks at him, her eyes begging for
comfort. He says nothing and takes her into his arms. Her body gives in and she collapses
into him.

He shuts the door and helps her to the couch where she curls up in his arms. He strokes
her hair softly, and assures her everything will be all right.

As she cries, Brad looks around the living room. Everything is just as he remembered it,
how John wanted it. His clunky dark blue Marines book was still on the coffee table next
to his favorite FBI coffee mug, next to his hardcover book on fly fishing. Brad wonders if
the contents of the mug could possibly be the drink John had the morning he and Monica
had left for Texas. On the couch he sees a navy blue afghan crumpled up in the corner.
Scully must have been trying to sleep before he came back, not even going upstairs to
change out of the dress she was wearing.

A half-hour passes before Scully calms down and finds the strength to speak. She picks
non-existent lent off of Brad's shirt as she does.

"I don't feel him as I do with Dad and Missy… it's like he's gone and doesn't feel the need
to let me know he loved me." She swallows more cries, "I don't know, maybe he didn't,
maybe it was all show for some reason I'll never know."

"Don't say that, Dana... John loved you."

She doesn't respond, instead she pulls him closer to her. He looks down at her and wipes
a tear from her face. She looks up at him, her eyes locking with his. They hold this look
for a moment, trying to read what the other is thinking. Scully breaks and rests her head
on his shoulder and wraps her arm tightly around him.

"Do you think you'll ever be able to love again, Brad?"

"I hope so."

They sit in silence for a few minutes, only listening to the ticking of the clock in the
living room. Scully sniffles and lets out a weak cough.

"You gonna be all right, Dana?" His voice is a whisper, and he kisses the top of her head.

Scully's eyes are wide, she sits straight up and looks at Brad.

"What was that for?"

Brad looks away, sorry he kissed her just then. "I'm sorry, Dana. I thought it might
comfort you."

He looks at her. There's hurt, anger and even understanding in her eyes. She's afraid, but
of what?

"Maybe I should go."

Brad stands and heads to the door, Scully follows him. She grabs his arm.

"Brad?"

"Yeah?"

He faces her and is taken back when she kisses him on the mouth, her arms reaching
behind him, pulling his body to hers. In this kiss, he feels all her raw emotion, everything
that she has been concealing from others. He knows she loves John, but right now her
body craves the release of pent up emotion. He returns her kiss with equal passion. If
physical human touch really helps heal, maybe this is what they both need.

Scully pulls away from his mouth, breathing hard. She whispers into his ear, "stay with
me."

Those three words are all he needs to hear. He steps back and takes her hand and starts to
lead her upstairs. She stops him. He looks back at her, her eyes now pleading with him,
"please, not up there." Her voice trembles.

He understands and takes her back to the couch and lies down carefully on top of her. His
hands gently explore the softness of the black dress she's wearing. His hands caress her
abdomen, rising over a slight bump as he works his way up to her breast, his thumb
rolling over her hardening nipple. He leans down and kisses her. As their tongues explore
one another, Scully sloppily untucks his shirt from his slacks, and works at undoing the
button and zipper.

Brad stops kissing her and looks into her eyes, silently asking her if this is what she really
wants. She responds by pulling him back to her. Her hands aggressively unbuttoning his
shirt, she peels it off his arms and kisses his chest, her fingernails scratching him as she
does.

Brad rises to his knees and brings Scully up with him. He helps her remove her dress and
they carelessly throw it to the floor. He holds her by the waist and admires her near naked
body. She kisses his mouth again this time with more passion. He slides his hands down
her back and underneath her panties savoring the softness of her bare skin. He breaks free
of her lips, and kisses the sensitive area of her neck as he slowly brings his hands up her
back and unhooks her bra, tossing it to the floor. His mouth now devouring the bare flesh
revealed to him. He hears her gasp at the sensation of his tongue quickly rolling over her
erect nipple.

The sound of her arousal hits him hard. He feels her hands tug at his boxer shorts, pulling
them down, he gasps feeling her hand envelope his hardness. He pushes her down and
rips off her panties and allows her to lead him into her. She's warm, and smooth like silk.
He kisses her hard, and uses one hand to hold one of her arms above her head, his other
hand he places between their connected bodies, rubbing her as she moves beneath him.

He looks at her face for the first time and sees that she is crying.

Their bodies work together at an awkward rhythm. Scully orgasms first, her body
squeezing his cock tightly, contracting around his cock. Her cries into his neck signal
both heartache and pleasure. A few more thrusts deep inside of her and Brad releases,
sobs escaping from his mouth as well. Needing to catch his breath, he rests his head on
her bare chest, not yet pulling out of her. He listens as he hears her heartbeat steady, and
feels her muscles relax around him.

"Brad…" She speaks softly to him, concern in her voice, her hands running through his
hair. "You're crying."

He raises his head and looks at her, he wipes a tear from her face. "So are you…"
Ashamed, Scully turns her head away from him.

They lie in silence for a few minutes, trying to figure out what to say or do next.
Suddenly Scully covers her face with one hand and breaks down crying. Brad looks at
her, concerned.

"What's wrong…?"

[ they shouldn't have done this ]

She doesn't respond to him, instead she starts pushing him away from her. Brad stands up
and starts redressing. He hands her dress to her and she puts it back on. She sits on the
edge of the couch and runs her hands through her hair, and wipes the tears from her face
with the back of her hand.

"Shit." She says under her breath, angry at herself.

"Look, Dana, if you didn't want to fuck me, you should have said so."

He's upset. Now she's making him feel like the bad guy. She doesn't reply and he sits
down on the couch to put his shoes on. He notices that she has her hand on her abdomen.

"Did I do something that hurt you?" He asks, concerned.

She shakes her head, "No, it's not that. It's…" Shit, how is she supposed to tell him this?
"I'm just um… I'm pregnant."

Relieved, Brad sighs. He looks to her, expecting to see some hint of happiness, but there
is none. Instead, she's trying not to cry.

"I've betrayed John, and I've betrayed our unborn child..."

Brad's eyes are wide, he had noticed a small bump on her abdomen, but the thought of
her being pregnant had never crossed his mind.

"I don't know what do say." He sighs. "Did John know?"

She shakes her head, "I only found out a week after his death. No one knows, just myself,
you, and my doctor."

"Why are you telling me?"

"I don't know. I guess I'm afraid that this stress will destroy the one thing I'll always have
that is a part of him…" She rubs her hand gently on her abdomen, as if comforting her
child who will never know its father.

Brad puts his arm around her, "Dana, if you need anything, I don't want you to hesitate
asking me, all right?" He means every word.

She nods her head. He takes her hands into his own and sees the diamond ring on her
finger. He decides not to ask about it now, it speaks for itself. His heart sinks.

"Are you going to be all right tonight, Dana?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. You should probably be going. We've both got to be to work in the
morning." She smiles at him, trying to return to the Scully she plays in public.

Brad stands and grabs his car keys, he turns to her before leaving and wishes her a good
night's sleep. He leaves and Scully locks the door behind him and heads upstairs to go to
bed. She walks into the bedroom and stares at the bed, thankful she has not washed the
sheets since the morning John left on assignment. Tonight, John will comfort her as she
sleeps. She sighs heavily, and walks to the master bathroom. Before she can lie down and
pretend the bed brings her John's comfort, she needs to take a long, warm shower to wash
away the residue of her betrayal from her body.

----------

Six months later, on what would have been John's forty-forth birthday, Scully gave birth
to a stillborn baby girl that she named Melissa Ann Doggett, with Brad Follmer at her
side.

Now she has nothing left of John.

Nothing.

She only has the comfort, and the heart, of Brad Follmer with her now.

In time John Doggett will be just a memory.

Life doesn't end when a life ends.

She has to move on.

Scully lies in bed, but she is not alone. She rolls onto her side, and wraps her arms around
Brad Follmer, and kisses his bare shoulder as he sleeps. Losing John and Monica brought
them together, and though she will always love John -and he will always have a special
place in her heart- she's fallen in love with Brad.

She smiles, and rests her head against him. She takes a deep breath and looks out the
window at the crescent-moon in the sky, and for the first time it feels like maybe John is
smiling down on her.

Slowly, but surely, her life is falling back into place.

----------

Ten months he has been gone.

Ten months she has thought he was dead.

Ten months ago his partner, Agent Reyes, had been killed in a shootout on the border.

John Doggett can't believe how slowly time was passing.

He lies awake in his bed in a crappy apartment in Reynosa, Mexico. Only light from the
crescent-moon illuminates the room. He turns in his bed, sweat sticking to the sheet
beneath his bare back. He looks out the window at the moon in the night sky, thinking of
Dana.

He should have told her about this undercover operation, but it's too late. She has been
told he's dead. He should have told her, and saved her from the pain of losing him. He
knows she could have been trusted, but the FBI was very specific that he and Agent
Reyes tell no one.

It breaks his heart knowing that right now she's lying in their bed alone, without him.

He has to believe that deep in her soul that she knows he's not truly dead. That she can
still, somehow, feel him. All he knows is that he has to keep his head on straight, and get
this job done. The sooner he gets the men involved in Enrique Valdez's drug cartel, the
sooner he can return home to Dana. Then they can be married, and finally start their life
together. The promise of Dana waiting for him back at home keeps him going.

He knows in his heart that he will see her again. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next
month, and maybe not even in a year, but one day he will return to her, and then
everything will fall right back into place.

John takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and exhales.

THE END
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Cassie
Admin

DSR Fan Since: : November 2000
Doggett Fan Since: : July 2000
RP Fan Since: : 1991
Favorite XF Movie : Fight The Future
Favorite XF Season : Season 4
Favorite XF Character : John Doggett
Favorite XF 'Ship : Doggett/Scully
Female Posts : 164
Join date : 2017-06-05
Location : San Antonio, TX, USA

http://www.doggettscully.com/

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